Linda’s blog: Roses are red
As with most things in life, Valentine’s Day has meant something different to me during different periods in my life. I remember the fear as a teenager that I might not receive any cards, along with the disbelief and confusion that some friends received cards from their parents and then the combination of embarrassment and pride when a card did arrive. As a single young adult, Valentine’s Day passed me by and then one year, I received a card which I hoped was from the guy I really liked. There followed a conversation where we danced around the subject before establishing (with mutual relief and delight) that he had sent it and I was happy he had.
It is ironic that despite that card being the catalyst for our relationship, not once in 23 years have we celebrated the date. We have exchanged cards but a bouquet of overpriced roses or meal in a restaurant surrounded by star crossed lovers? Absolutely not. Once we had children and entered the sleepless years, there was even less inclination to go out and celebrate. It also felt like a huge indulgence to spend money on a babysitter “just for us”.
Whilst those years have passed, the daily juggle managing competing demands at home and at work means we have little time to see each other in the week, let alone have a proper conversation that does not centre around the children or practical arrangements. Some of our friends have divorced and it’s easy to see how even the most well intentioned people can lose their way as a couple.
So, having never subscribed to a date night, we recently started making an effort to do something together once a month (ish!). This has reminded us of life before children and I hope will help ensure that we still have enough interest in, and dare I say, passion for, each other as the children grow, develop their independence and eventually leave home.
Linda is a lawyer who has two children aged 4 and 7. She and her husband work full time and juggle the school run and everything else between them.