Sonya's blog- What to do now with my spare time?

My son started school in September 2020, and I have continued to work part time.  I had considered using my new ‘spare time’ when he was at school to either do a course in gardening or creative writing.  However, my plans were put on hold partly due to the pandemic, but also due to the fact that I felt a bit lost without my son on my days off, and actually unsure how to use my time just for me. 

I initially used the time to sort out the house – to declutter – during lockdown, but then it became the time I could get a head start on the household chores rather than doing it over the weekend. Somehow it then became a norm that I would do the cleaning on my days off.  

Once the restrictions lifted, I did make time to meet up with friends and family again for a coffee and chat and I have tried to reintroduce regular facials and massages, and yet I would feel guilty for using this time for just for me.  My husband is really supportive and reminds me that I shouldn’t feel guilty, but enjoy this time.  But this is easier said than done - “life and family things” do tend to get in the way, and it becomes easier to use the time for this. 

I have recently volunteered to be a parent reader at my son’s school, but part of me feels that this is not really my time, but more of an extension of my role as a parent.  I am keen to do this and volunteer, but I think I need to try new things or rediscover things I used to do before I was a parent. 

If I am honest with myself, I am not sure what direction I would like to go in.  I am still considering the gardening or creative writing courses, but need to find the time to research my options.  But what I do need to work on is allowing myself this time to rediscover who I am as an individual, who is not solely a parent.  I would like is to find something that really excites me to learn or pursue, and I think this would allow me the chance to be comfortable making time for myself again.  I also think it will be good for my son to see me in this different light.   

Sonya, 42, works three days a week as a Personal Assistant within the legal sector.  She lives in Kent with her husband and 6 year old son.

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• Families