Rachel's blog: Growing a Baby Whilst Billing Time

Rachel shares her reflections before taking maternity leave.

Very soon I’ll be switching back-to-back emails, lease reports and completion deadlines for something entirely new: my first maternity leave.

If I’m honest, it still doesn’t quite feel real. And that’s despite now fashioning a very large baby bump that refuses to be ignored.

For the past eight months, I’ve been doing two very different jobs at once — one as a commercial property solicitor, and one as a… well, human incubator. One involves carefully managing risk, timelines and expectations. The other involves growing an entire person while craving pickled onion disco crisps.

Both, it turns out, require stamina.

The strange duality of it all

One of the strangest parts of pregnancy whilst continuing to work full time (much like most women I know who’ve been pregnant) has been how normal everything has felt… and how not normal it actually is.

On one hand, it’s business as usual:

• Negotiating documents
• Dialling into calls
• Chasing replies
• Trying to keep everything moving

On the other hand, in the background, your body is quietly doing something extraordinary, weird and wonderful. And for the majority of the pregnancy, only you can really feel and see it happening.

There’s something slightly surreal about discussing restrictive covenants on a Teams call while a baby is rib kicking you mid-sentence. Or reviewing a report on title while wondering if you’ll ever sleep properly again (I very much hope so!)

And yet, all these things becomes your normal during pregnancy.

Learning to slow down (slightly)

If there’s one thing pregnancy has taught me, it’s that you can’t always operate at 100%.

As solicitors, we’re used to being “on” — responsive, precise, always one step ahead, and I think for many of us that spills over into our personal lives. Pre-pregnancy, for me that looked like having busy week night evenings after work, doing jiu jitsu training or attending church events and then often making multiple plans with different friends and family over my precious weekends so that I could tell myself I’d really made the most of my free time. Pregnancy doesn’t exactly ask for permission before it changes that. Some days you feel completely yourself; other days, even replying to messages feels like climbing a mountain.

And that’s been an adjustment. A pretty big one for me, if I’m honest!

I’ve learned (sometimes reluctantly and nearly always at the behest of my husband) to:

• Be kinder to myself on slower days;
• Accept that not everything can be done at the same pace in this season; and
• Let go of the idea of being endlessly productive.

It’s not something that comes naturally in a profession where momentum matters — but it’s probably one of the more valuable lessons I’ve had to learn, and I’m fully expecting the learning to continue when I have a mini human to care for as well as myself.

A shifting perspective

When you’re in the middle of it, work still feels important — because it is. But pregnancy has a way of gently shifting your perspective.

Deadlines and deals still matter and I’ve been working hard to keep the many plates us lawyers handle spinning. But I’ve also been struck by the growing awareness that life is about to look very different, and work will eventually slot into a new shape around that.

For someone who likes structure and control, that’s both exciting and slightly terrifying.

Signing off (for now)

As I get ready to log off for a little while, it feels like the end of a chapter that has been equal parts ordinary and extraordinary.

Ordinary, because I’ve spent the past eight months doing the job I’ve done for the past decade and which, on most days, feels comfortable and familiar;

extraordinary, because all along, something much bigger has been happening quietly within me which will change everything about my life and will change me in ways I can’t even imagine as I write this. I read something today that really resonated with me – it’s not just a baby that’s about to be born; it’s a whole new version of you that’s about to come forth.

I don’t think there’s really a way to fully describe this season — but surreal probably comes closest.

For now, I’m swapping sitting at my laptop for nursing a baby on the sofa and the familiarity of property law and clients for something a lot more unpredictable.

Wish me luck!

Rachel is a commercial property lawyer who has worked in a range of private practice firms as well as inhouse. Rachel sees great value in building legal community and the sharing of ideas, both to support more efficient working as well as prioritising wellbeing and satisfaction in our legal careers. She’s passionate about motivating and mobilising those around her to make a positive impact in the legal sector and the wider world. Rachel loves to travel and spends the occasional spare minute day-dreaming about her next adventure.

Tags:
• Families
• New Parents