Linda's blog: Linda’s Blog: Traditions Old and New

Christmas has always been a happy and important time for me. It has nothing to do with Jesus and certainly not presents, instead it’s a time to celebrate family and enjoy uninterrupted time together. 

I grew up with huge Christmas gatherings. Cousins, grandparents, Aunts and Uncles: the house overflowed with noise and laughter, relished by adults and children alike. The kids bunked up together, sleeping on piles of blankets and getting up early on Christmas Day to eat our traditional breakfast of Smarties and gold coins from our stockings. I still remember my attempt to sneak an extra treat from a box of chocolates left out from the night before and the horrible shock when alcohol poured into my mouth. The first and last time I’ve eaten a liquor chocolate.

Mornings were spent queueing for our turn in the bathroom before bundling up for an invariably wet and muddy walk. When we returned home, the hall would be a jumble of coats and boots and we’d huddle around a slowly smoking fire waiting for it to emit some heat. Music played, funny stories were told and food and drink flowed. Often the red wine flowed a bit too much and the table cloth would be doused liberally with salt.   

When we were teenagers the gatherings became smaller as the older generation were no longer with us and my cousins drifted away to share Christmas with their partners and later their own children. Later, both my sisters settled abroad and then it was my turn to spend Christmas with my boyfriend’s family. I can still picture my mum stoically taking a deep breath and assuring me that of course she understood while her eyes betrayed her true emotions. 

After my husband and I bought our first flat we proudly hosted our parents for Christmas, adapting and merging family traditions to create our own. Out went the heavy Christmas cake and pudding (which, as a child I’d only taken in the hope of getting a coin) and in came ginger cake. My grandmother’s snowball drink that had so entranced me as a child was resurrected and I discovered the joy of fresh cranberry sauce. 

The year my Mum died suddenly and unexpectedly, my family was broken and I had no interest in Christmas at all. We were not in the mood to celebrate and if we’d only had the baby, I’m sure we’d have done very little. But we also had a three year old and sharing the magic with the next generation was important to me so I gritted my teeth and tried my best. I was unable to face taking my mum’s place in the kitchen but my husband kindly took up the gauntlet and cooked his first Christmas dinner. This became a new tradition and I haven’t cooked one since.

As the years after my mum’s death passed, the structure of the traditions removed the need for decision making and provided much needed reassurance, familiarity and comfort. However, when my Dad died and we had to sell the house which had always been our haven, we realised we needed a complete change. We booked our first ski holiday and arrived in Eastern Europe to find a beautiful winter wonderland. The fresh air and activity calmed my brain and dulled the grief. It worked so well that this year we have clicked copy and paste. The only bit we can’t guarantee is the snow (slight fly in the ointment!) but I will still wear a Christmas jumper, I still won’t be cooking Christmas lunch and some new traditions may be born.

Whatever your Christmas looks like, I hope you enjoy the break and wish you a happy and healthy new year. 

Linda is a lawyer with two children. She and her husband both work full time and juggle the school run and everything else between them.

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• Families