Released On 19 January 2026
Barbara's blog: Wintering
Two weeks ago, we celebrated Daughter’s 20th birthday. She has now entered her third decade and is no longer a teenager. She has been home from university for the Christmas holiday, and it has been nice to have her around again: although she is studying in London, which is only an hour’s train journey from where we live, any distance matters. She is a sunny, happy soul and her positive demeanour balances our dynamic of strong personalities, so when she is not here, the colours of life are a little bit dimmer.
Son has deferred his university place, got a job and still lives at home. But he has found love, and often stays at his girlfriend’s. This means that when both kids are away and Husband is working nights, the dog and I are the only ones in the house. I am never short of things to do – a long yoga session, a bit of house admin, some cleaning if I must! - but when these activities are complete and I finally sit down, I realise how quiet the house is. It takes a few seconds for the feeling to sink in: no tv, no music, nobody moving around making the floorboards creak, just silence. Outside, the garden is dark, the outline of the trees and bushes swaying in the breeze.
Cozy in the house, I embrace these times when I am alone but not lonely, when I can just stare into space and let my thoughts come to the surface but with no expectation to engage with any of them. The dog’s head is on my lap as I sit on the sofa, and I stroke his soft velvety ears while he stretches out, luxuriating in the space. I don’t feel lazy for doing nothing, I am merely wintering. Some of you may be familiar with the concept, which was popularised by author Katherine May, and I am taking inspiration from the more literal interpretation of it. In the UK, January is cold, dark, rainy and endlessly long. When nature is mostly dormant, it seems counterintuitive to force renewal, for example with new year resolutions, never mind action. Instead, I try to accept stillness, rest and self-reflection when I have the opportunity. This is difficult, as my mother was always a hustler, and she drilled into me the need to be constantly hyper-productive. Our society still shares the same expectation of having to fill every minute of the day with something, heavily promoted on social media by influencers who “invite us to watch their morning routine” – 4am start? No thanks.
Wintering has so far helped me to feel calmer and more accepting, which is handy when Son disappears with the car yet again or Daughter needs last minute advice as I am battling a work deadline. Seems that the weather forecast for the next week is for rain once again. Looks like I will be wintering a little longer.
Barbara works as an environmental strategist for the aviation regulator and lives a stone’s throw from the South Downs, with her 20-year-old creative daughter, 18-year-old ingenious son and supportive husband.
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