Anushka's blog: A Lost Diamond

I lost my grandmother's 1920s diamond pendant.  The huge diamond was given to me before my wedding day.  I wore it almost every day over the last 17 years on a chain alongside a cheap silver Links of London Rich Tea Biscuit charm.

The necklace one day managed to unhook itself and the pendant must have fallen somewhere in a garden in Chingford where I was jiggling up and down to keep warm whilst watching my son acting on a film set.  Another young boy on set found my Rich Team charm deep in the grass and I realised at this point that the diamond was missing too.  I didn't panic at first as I thought it must surely be nearby. I searched around the grass methodically.  I retraced my steps in the set house and looked everywhere, hoping it was caught in my jumper, bag or had dropped elsewhere, but to no avail. I had the film crew search the garden.  I'd asked my husband to check at home in case it had dropped there at some point. It was like looking for a veritable needle in a haystack.  It marred the rest of the afternoon and I felt truly wretched, like I'd let my grandmother down and a piece of myself and my daily ritual was missing.   I went through something akin to grief. I still searched for it even though I knew it was lost, eventually giving up hope and the sorrow sinking in.   I wanted to remember this feeling so I would prioritise getting rid of all my other jewellery as I never wanted to re-live this experience.  Burglaries are rife where I live.  My parents have been burgled twice and my grandmother at least once and most of their priceless jewellery all gone. 

When I told my children about the lost diamond, my daughter said, 'You have two healthy, happy children. It's just a thing'.  After a brief pause, she continued, ' Would it have been given to me?'.   I replied, 'Yes', sullenly, to which she quickly retorted, 'Well, I'd have lost it in a week, you know me!'  

My son straightly questioned me as to whether I enjoy looking at the necklace much.  'I replied, 'not as much, it's more a ritual of wearing it, it feels part of me, so now something is missing'.  I could tell this attachment to a possession was an anathema to him. He replied, 'I think most people look better without anything, even earrings.  People look better without jewellery'.  It was a refreshing view.  One advertisers would hate.

Jewellery is both a gift and a burden.  It is something to worry about and lose, something that others may covet, something that costs you in insurance premiums to keep and something that renders you more at risk of being mugged.  I am happiest when free of stuff.  I may well end up selling my treasures for an undervalue. However, freedom from the gilded prison of jewellery ownership is priceless.

Anushka works full time for a professional services firm, is married with two kids aged 12 and 13.

Tags:
• Families