Lynden's blog: Confidence – It’s an Inside Job

Confidence isn't magic, it's mechanics.

So, next week I’m doing my first live meditation session at work. Yes. Live. As in: real humans. In the room. Breathing. Looking at me. Potentially blinking.

I’ve studied to be a meditation teacher. I’ve trained as a crystal bowl sound practitioner. I’ve done the coursework, the practice, the recordings, the “pretend there’s an audience” sessions where the only witness was my dogs, who frankly have never once given me a five‑star review.

But doing it live? That’s a whole different flavour of courage.

Because here’s the thing no one tells you when you sign up for these beautiful, soul‑nourishing modalities: You can learn the techniques. You can learn the scripts. You can learn how to hold space. But putting yourself out there? That requires confidence, and that’s an inside job.

And my inside voice — the one that’s supposed to be serene and wise and full of inner‑guru energy — has recently been sounding more like: “Lynden, what if you stuff this up?” “People are going to be watching you.” “Are you sure you don’t want to just… record it instead?”

Honestly, if thoughts were colleagues, mine would be the ones who send emails marked “URGENT” that absolutely are not.

But here’s the pep talk I’ve been giving myself — and it’s the one I want to share with you, because confidence isn’t magic. It’s mechanics.

Thoughts = Beliefs = Behaviours = Thoughts (again!)

I’ve been reminding myself that my thoughts shape my beliefs. If I think: “I’m going to mess this up,” my brain goes, “Ah yes, excellent, let’s file that under Truth.”

And then my beliefs shape my behaviour. Which means I’ll show up nervously, apologetically, like I’m borrowing someone else’s job.

And my behaviour? Well, that loops right back into my thoughts. “See? You were nervous. You did doubt yourself.”

It’s a self‑fulfilling prophecy powered by anxiety and questionable self‑talk.

So I’ve been working on flipping the script. Instead of: “I’m going to stuff this up,” I’m practising: “I’m good at this.” “I’m trained for this.” “I’m ready.” “I know how to guide people into calm — I do it every day.”

And here’s the wild part: When I think those thoughts, my body actually believes me. I sit taller. I breathe deeper. I behave like someone who knows what she’s doing. And that behaviour feeds back into my thoughts: “See? You can do this.”

Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a cycle. And you can interrupt it at any point and steer it somewhere better.

Also, let’s be honest…

Everyone is winging it. Everyone. Even the people who look like they were born on a TED stage.

So if my voice shakes a little next week? Fine. If I accidentally say “take a deep breath in” twice in a row? Whatever. If my crystal bowl sings slightly off‑key because my hands are sweating? Congratulations, you’ve just experienced an authentic, human meditation session.

Confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being willing.

And I’m willing. Willing to show up. Willing to try. Willing to let my training actually live outside my head. Willing to trust that the part of me that chose this path knew exactly what she was doing (I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt!).

So next week, I’ll walk into that room, take a breath, and remind myself: Confidence is an inside job — and I’m finally clocking in. And if you’re wondering whether my dogs will finally give me a five‑star review after this… absolutely not. They’ve made it clear that excellence, in their eyes, is measured exclusively in belly rubs.

Lynden works in investment banking but outside of the corporate world she’s a meditation coach, mum to two fur babies, a lover of crystals, sound therapy & sparkling wine. Currently writing her next book and being inspired by living on the coast.

Tags:
• Career, Work and Identity