Released On 02 March 2026

Sheila's blog: Yin and Yang

Living with MS has made one thing unavoidable: life does not stabilise.

There are days when my body feels generous. There are days when it feels unpredictable. Energy rises and falls. Plans change. Certainty is fragile.

For a long time, I thought the difficult days were the problem. If I could just minimise them, manage them, plan around them — then life would feel steady.

But life is not steady.

The idea of Yin and Yang captures this more honestly than the simple division of “good” and “bad.” It reminds us that opposites are not errors in the system. They are the system. Expansion and contraction. Ease and effort. Confidence and doubt. Each makes the other visible.

Recently, I felt this acutely.

I had an offsite with colleagues. It meant a train journey, time away from home, a hotel stay on my own without my husband or daughters. None of this is dramatic on the surface. But when you live with MS and travel in a wheelchair, anticipation can be heavier than the event itself.

What if I am too tired?
What if I can’t keep up?
What if I need help?

The days leading up to it felt harder than the event itself.

And yet the reality was different.

It wasn’t perfect. I was tired. I had to pace myself. I pushed beyond my comfort zone. But I managed it. I travelled. I contributed. I stayed overnight. I coped.

And I did not do it alone.

Colleagues matter more than we sometimes admit. Two in particular carried me in ways they may not even fully realise. One shared dinner with me — not as an act of charity, but as normal, easy companionship. The other was my secure base: steady, calm, quietly reassuring. Neither made a performance of support. They simply created enough psychological safety for me to stretch.

They will know who they are.

I came home proud. And tired. And stronger.

That contrast matters.

The hard anticipation sharpened the experience of capability. The discomfort created evidence. I now know I can do more than I assumed. And I also know that strength is not the absence of support — it is often built because support exists.

This is the part of Yin and Yang we often resist. We want independence without vulnerability. Confidence without doubt. Ease without effort.

But strength is rarely built on the easy days. Nor is it built entirely alone.

The good moments matter deeply. The warmth of the sun on your face. The first coffee of the morning. The giggle of a child. These are not sentimental details; they are reserves. They remind us what we are living for.

The difficult moments matter too. They carve out capacity. They expand the edges of what we believe we can handle. And sometimes, they reveal who stands beside us when we do.

Life for most of us is not one thing. It is not consistently upward, nor relentlessly hard. It moves. It asks more of us at times and less at others. The tension is not a flaw.

It is the nature of being alive.

Perhaps the challenge is this: stop waiting for life to become entirely manageable before you engage with it fully.

Accept that some days will feel heavier. Go anyway. Accept that it won’t be perfect. Do it anyway. Let tiredness coexist with pride. Let doubt coexist with growth. Let independence coexist with reliance.

Yin and Yang is not about neat balance. It is about recognising that the forces we think oppose each other often sustain each other.

And when we stop trying to eliminate the hard days, we may find they are quietly building the strength — and revealing the people — we will need next.

Sheila has worked in the asset management industry for over 15 years. She is married to a wonderful husband, is mother to two amazing children, has Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis and lives in London. Sheila goes to the MS Therapy Centre in Harrow for physio and hyperbaric oxygen therapy once a week. Donations to support this wonderful organisation are very welcome. Sheila can be found on Instagram @MS_in_the_City. https://www.harrowmscentre.co.uk/donate