Released On 28 April 2025
Lee's blog: Tell Me Why
I have a number of important and often conflicting priorities in my current stage of life , listed in no particular order of importance : my children, my family, my relationships, my friendships, my health and well being , my career, my ambitions and fun! This means the elusive unicorn dream of balance is never far from my mind especially when you throw in all the BAU of life.
Funnily enough in my me time I quite often listen to podcasts and talks that help me in the area I am “neglecting” while I take time out for myself. On any given day I will be consuming content on parenting styles , the four burner theory, the importance of mindfulness, resilience, career strategy or mental load. I resonate with how this influx of new learning or new perspectives is valuable and that how other people narrate situations is a learning tool that works well for me.
As a general rule I try not to feel or at least try not to lean in to guilt as a construct – I believe that every decision I make as a person, a mom, a wife, an employee is subconsciously made with the best knowledge I have available at the time and the background hum of balance and avoiding overwhelm. This thought and decision making process is often invisible and silent but I am really making the effort lately to try to narrate the jumble of thoughts in a decision to myself as well as others.
I have to quite often explain and rationalise my decisions to my children. Children have in my experience a really great knack of saying the exact thing to trigger that guilt pang - my three year old in particular likes to say “please don’t leave me” or “just stay here and cuddle” as I am tying up my running shoes and even on my most motivated of days it takes some effort not to say ok I will stay and soak up this lovely feeling of being needed and of you wanting me to be with you. Its always nice to be needed right?
I am all too aware that each and every time I prioritise myself or them or work or date night it is a teachable moment for my girls that they also need to and should be encouraged to learn how to prioritise themselves frequently. And so in the course of my day I make statements like “Mammy wants to have time to go out for a run because it keeps me feeling fit and healthy and gives me lots more energy to play with you” or “Mammy has to go to the office today because I get to meet my work team and I really like to spend time with them working on ” . I love that my narrative is very rarely “because I have to”.
I love to sometimes show them that they are my priority and having fun with them is important but I also try to remember to verbalise this “Hey girls how about I skip making dinner and we can go get some pizza and do something fun”, or “I’ve booked a day off work just to spend some time with you – lets plan an adventure”.
I am now trying to encourage them to follow a similar narrative by asking questions when they have a request or wish about their decision making process and for the most part its working although I heard my 8 year old tell my 3 year old that she should take up some hobbies like dance class so that she could have five minutes peace at home so still a work in progress!
Lee is a mum, accountant, coffee lover and sometimes runner. She is married, has two young girls and works mostly remotely for a London based bank.
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