Eliza's blog: Positivity In A Challenge

It’s been a while since I have written one of these and it’s safe to say that a lot has happened since we last spoke. Some of the highlights include a new boyfriend, a subsequent break-up, gallbladder removal, and returning back to five days a week in the office. Whilst that all sounds very dramatic, they have all impacted my life in different ways. I have learnt lots about myself, be it how to cope in times of intense sadness, or that five days in the office won’t kill me. I have realised I can handle a lot more than I think and it makes me look forward to the challenges that lie ahead.

Going back to five days in the office feels strange. All I’ve ever known of the world of work is a hybrid working pattern, so this will be an adjustment. It’s something new, a change, but I’ll adapt as I have done with every challenge thrown my way. One of the harder ones this year was admitting to myself that I wasn’t with the right person. While he didn’t do anything wrong, it just didn’t feel right. I find those the toughest breakups as you wish something bad happens to bring the relationship down so you can blame it on that. When in reality you have to confront your own feelings and ultimately hurt the other person. In the long run, I knew it would be okay, but that didn’t make the decision any easier. Having also just turned 25, it reminded me how quick a birthday comes around each year and how fast time goes and how precious who you choose to spend it with is. Spending that with the wrong person is a scary thought, and now I’m out of that I feel a sense of relief to claim back my time and put myself first. I wish the best for him too but I have to be okay with the fact that I can’t have certainty of that which too is a weird feeling to process.

While I let myself be sad for a short while, I remember that I have to keep going. It’s too easy to let it affect you, or you can make a choice to keep going and push through the harder times. With work being so busy, it has helped a lot with that. I’m also lucky to have such a great support network around me. Friends who will be honest, distract me, keep me sane and always have my back. My brother struggles more with the emotional side of things but he does know how to cheer me up. He took me Lime Biking the other day for the first time. He knew I wanted to try it but I always felt too scared. A week later and I’m riding by myself, would you believe it. In all honesty, it’s probably the other vehicles on the road that should be more scared, but in all seriousness, the exhilarating feeling of riding a Lime Bike in central London needs to be studied. I feel like I am in a movie and exactly where I need to be in life. It’s also powerful to show yourself you can do things that once seemed out of reach. It motivates me to think what else I can try, and what other challenges that I can overcome.