Mentoring - Your Stories
I recently caught up with a few mentees and mentors from the 2020 cohort via email. I was curious to find out how people were, how they have been managing and whether they had been able to sustain their mentoring partnerships through the pandemic. As with each time I have sought feedback over the past couple of years, the responses I received were really inspiring. It is always lovely to hear how people are getting on, how helpful their relationships have been, as well as the obstacles they have faced and often overcome.
Virtual mentoring
A few key messages came through, including the fact that many of you have developed strong, mutually beneficial partnerships. As one mentor explains: “If anything, mentoring during the pandemic provided my mentees with the motivation to find a time in their day to focus on themselves. Everyone has been experiencing the pandemic and their professional and personal lives and responsibilities differently, and mentoring has provided an additional layer of support and impartiality. Many have found the routine and cadence useful, especially with so many ‘unknowns’ at the time.“
Another mentor describes a situation familiar to many: “Clare has worked from home whilst home schooling, so she has had a challenging time trying to balance home and work life, but amazingly agreed to continue with the programme.” This is a good point to acknowledge just how brilliantly people in this situation have done.
A few mentees explained that being mentored virtually was much easier, as no travelling time was needed. Importantly, one says: “I could be more flexible with timings and with working from home, I was able to be more vulnerable and open.” We are hearing a lot about Zoom fatigue, understandably so, at the moment. So it is nice to hear of one of the advantages of virtual meetings, and I certainly find this to be true with coaching clients.
Some people have quite simply not managed to carve out time for mentoring due to the many and varied challenges that they have been presented with. If this is your experience, it may still be worth reaching out to your mentor, if only for one chat, if you are able. You never know how useful it might be.
Meetings
It was good to receive positive responses on how helpful many of you have found your mentoring meetings. Another mentee sums up his experience beautifully:
“I have found the meetings very useful. A few points come immediately to mind:
Alexander’s experience and insight - he has a broad range of experience to draw on and was very good at helping me to pinpoint and articulate the areas that I wanted to target - and crucially to help me think more broadly than the work immediately in front of me. He was able to provide practical suggestions for tackling the areas we had identified.
Accountability - On occasion I would commit to do certain things that we agreed would be beneficial from a work/life balance perspective, e.g. boundary setting. This was helpful in pushing these things up my to do list.
Regular reminder to think more broadly about career and parenthood - Having semi-regular meetings with Alexander has been a useful reminder to stop and think about how my work fits into my life and aspirations around family life etc. Without our meetings, I am sure that I would have given this far less thought.”
Mark has just finished 5 months of parental leave and, looking ahead to the end of June, says that he would like to explore ideas of how to maximise his impact on his return, whilst being conscious of work/life balance and boundaries. This is absolutely wonderful to hear from a father having undertaken shared parental leave.
Another pair explain that the fact that they are both in HR roles, has meant that they have each learned how the other’s organisation has responded to the pandemic. Their meetings also facilitated good discussions on current topics such as Diversity & Inclusion and wellbeing.
A big theme to come out of what has worked well is how mentors have provided invaluable support around career progression. One mentee describes this in glowing terms: “I found the scheme transformational. I was paired with an incredible mentor who truly listened and showed me empathy at a difficult time of my life. She helped me re-build my self-confidence, understand what I bring to the table and helped me on my career journey. This is no mean feat in less than a year! I can’t explain what a dramatic impact she has had on my life and my future career.”
Her mentor explains what she has found helpful during these meetings: “I’m always impressed by my mentees but specifically in the last year, the level of openness, vulnerability, candour and exploration about areas of focus has been exceptional. My mentees over the last year have appreciated the accountability aspect of mentorship, which has brought them closer to their goals.”
Another mentee describes as invaluable the interview preparation she received, especially as she has moved into a new area.
Other thoughts
I asked people if there was anything else that they would like to share about mentoring, or anything related to working remotely, for example. Comments included the belief that virtual mentoring will be here to stay; how important it is to have empathy for the maternity experience; advice on what good mentoring looks like such as asking questions, not telling; and finally, some lovely thoughts on the way ahead:
“ As we ease back into the post-pandemic world, helping individuals stay in control and navigate the discussions ahead will be important. Every person has their own concerns about going back, working demands, etc. and I’d encourage them to turn these into opportunities for meaningful dialogue, because mentees have an important voice in what happens next in their career and companies want to hear about it.”
Thank you to all of you for your commitment to the scheme during an incredibly challenging year.